Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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