I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
