and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
