Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
