I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
