You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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