Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
