Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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