Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
