love makes seman taste better
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize