no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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