thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
