im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
