from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
