i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
