yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
