Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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