So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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