why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
