I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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