Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
