cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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