what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize