I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
