Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
