I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We named our party play list daddy issues
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
