Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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