im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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