Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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