I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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