I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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