i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
