I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize