5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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