I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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