i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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