id be glad to
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
