he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
