Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
