Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
