Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Randomize
