We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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