please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
