Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Welp...herpes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
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at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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