i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
