Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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