Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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