apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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