Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
