I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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