party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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