you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
